As my daughter was looking at Roman numerals in mathematics, my birthday was coming up and I realized that even the Romans thought 40 was an extra-large number and hence XL!
I don’t know why a depression of sorts washed over me in that moment because I’m not one to be “down”on my birthday. I actually love celebrating birthdays, but I don’t know what it is with 40 that made me so sad. It was maybe the fact that I was already an older teenager when my mother turned 40 and to me she was an “old person” in my eyes. I realize now that she was young but that’s not what you see as a child. Also the fact that I’ve been watching too much “Sex and the City” and heard too many times the cliché “40 is the new 20” but when I looked in the mirror I looked nothing like those fabulous girls in their 40s. I was also expecting a sort of sexual awakening which people talk about and it just didn’t happen overnight. But that is a whole different subject that in my case has to do with my body and self-esteem.
Anyway it hasn’t been an easy pill to swallow, but I guess I’m here and I guess everybody gets to that point at some point in time. I won’t deny that it is so depressing to read biographies of actors and see that they were born in the 90s it just sounds so unrealistic to me, but it is ultimately reality and life goes on!
I decided to take a whole new approach and see that if I want to become who I wanted to be at 40 I still have 365 days to make it happen “carrying” the same number on my drivers license and it was a coincidence that the number 40 is also the pounds I’m carrying overweight according to my size and frame.
So here I am looking for support and if only in form of a blog in which I get to vent and hopefully share my experiences because I am really open and “verbal” but this is no subject I like to share with my close friends.
Hope I find some like-minded people around here. Till then happy XL to me!
Jellybean10k 